going solo

...........an interesting article in last Sundays Observer Magazine made me think about my own place in the world.

....... It seems there are a growing number of 'soloists', of both the male and female variety. A new study has revealed that Britain is fast becoming a 'nation of independents', ........... the fact that UK households with only one occupant have risen by 31 per cent since 1971. Moreover, these people, the soloists, look set to remain that way because frankly they prefer it and can't be bothered with the hassle of another person invading their personal space and infringing their freedom. [........ it said, and yes I can go along with that]

A similar study emerged a few months ago, but that came to the conclusion that men living alone became depressed and isolated, existing in a sea of old pizza boxes and broken dreams. [untidy yes, depressed, no. sea of broken dreams, c'mon now, who has'nt got broken dreams in this modern, must-do-better world] However, this new one suggests that male soloists are just as content as female soloists. For once, gender isn't the issue, it's how 'solo' you are that counts. [about as solo as I can be I guess]

Indeed, it could be that this new development, while a Good Thing, could simply mean that we are becoming a nation completely inept at sustaining long-term live-in relationships [becoming? becoming?.I have always been inept at having/ keeping long term g/friends]. If this is true, this development could be less about a growing 'culture of individualisation' than it is of a national emotional stunting - for how could true self-discovery be possible when you've never shared your hopes and fears, or indeed a bathroom, with anybody? [I dunno, how? many people do, which is why they are soloists, rather than having to cling to someone else for emotional support. Perhaps, in the way I like to think I have, they have already felt 'true self-discovery' and that's precisely why they are soloists]


if you want to read the whole thing go here:

http://observer.guardian.co.uk/magazine/story/0,11913,1405063,00.html


So I thought to myself, .........'stop being depressed because you have no-one in the world and get on with enjoying life'.... well actually I have'nt felt like that for quite a while, but you get the drift.

What made me become a soloist [there, I've said it about myself at last ] was the dawning realisation that I actually felt worse about life when I was in a relationship than when I was out of one! This happened about the same time as I realised that 'getting-on' in life [you know -degree, job, security etc] was not all it was cracked up to be, and if you were solo, then the burden of all that responsibility [marriage, mortgage, kids etc] and cost was magically lifted off ones shoulders.

OK, maybe I'm being selfish, but so what? I'm not denying anyone else their future, I have no biological clock ticking away, and what's so wrong about living and enjoying your life the way you want. In actual fact the only thing missing from all this is a shag every now and again, and hell, if you've been with the same person for several years, I suspect you're in the same position as I am in this regard!

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